I miss him in the quiet
I hate it but I do
I’ve made some mistakes before
But I really fucked up with you
It hurts to see you move on
Knowing that I’m to blame
I’m glad you’re in a better place
I’m still filled with shame
What is happiness anyways?
And why does it mean so much?
I’ve torn apart a family
I’ve lost my only crutch
I’m sorry that I hurt you
In the process I hurt me to
And there’s no turning back now
No matter what I do
I always act like the victim
Because I am the fucking victim
A victim of hatred
A victim of sin
When does the real sinning begin?
I hate myself
Especially my reflection
That causes your erection
That’s all I am
An erection
A constant imperfection
That shows no indiscretion
Constantly losing my direction
And tired of rejection
And being up for subjection
And suffering an infinite dissection
Then comes my objection
Like a punch to my midsection
I’m in need of some affection
And a little more protection
And in my future projections
I will find the right connection
I can get a life now
Though I don’t know where to start
I feel as though I’m cold now
In matters of the heart
I want to start this journey
How do I find the road
The one that leads away from here
No more doing as I’m told
Even though I’m wrecking him
I need what’s best for me
He took me all for granted
And left me out to sea
And though this world is scary
It’s time for me to part
Search to get my warmth back
And piece together my heart
Don’t want to end you
But what can I do
I need to get a life
Not go this round with you
Were both unhappy
And life isn’t fair
Thought we were forever
But you just didn’t care
Can’t place all the blame on you
I’ll take my share of the burden
I can admit I’m wrong
If I could ever get a word in
I wanted to make you better
But you will never change
And so for are family
I’ll have to rearrange
Because our kids aren’t happy
And neither are we
So I’ll whittle us down
From 4 down to 3
What is it that im doing here?
I know this is a place to fear
But im not thinking very clear
I feel the end is creeping near
What is it i can do
To make you feel the truth
And know that we’re not through
How do i get to you
I want to pierce those piercing eyes
And crush your head between my thighs
Leave this world with no goodbyes
Here’s the payback for all your lies
I didn’t think you’d come back this time
I thought I made it clear
Without you I’m not fine
But you’ll always dissappear
I don’t know what I see in you
I deserve so much better
And if you’d only stay away
I could release this vision of together
But you’re just here to fuck with me
To make sure I lose my mind
Leave me with all these maybes
So I know I’ll never be “fine”
I can’t get away from you
No matter how fast and far I run
Nothing I wouldn’t do for you
The bullet to your gun
If you cared you wouldn’t talk to me
You would leave me to get a life
I’m tired of relinquishing power to you
And you revel in twisting the knife
I’m sorry it has to be this way
I thought you were the one
But you wanted me for convenience
I was just for fun
And as much as it pains me
I have to walk away
I need to step back into reality
And I’ve finally nothing more to say
And here I am alone again
Here comes that hole again
Forgot to play my role again
Got myself feeling low again
Drown the heart you stole again
Your love takes its toll again
When will I feel whole again?
Starting to lose my control again
Fighting to save my soul again
As it goes spiraling down the bowl again
Time for you to quit the show again
I’m getting hit with “no” again
Feel I’ve nowhere to go again
What is my deal with you?
You’re really not that great
But my heart runs away with you
And I am left with the fate
Why can’t I get away from this ?
No matter how hard I try
But the moment that you insist
Into the lake of fire I fly
How can you even go on?
Hurting people the way you do?
Living with the pain you spawn?
Leaving a trail of blue
So sick of saying one day
Why can’t that be now
I’m sick of this fake life I lead
I wish that I knew how
Why didn’t I just feel
And go with what I wanted
Instead of doing the right thing
And now my life feels stunted
I hope there is a one day
I know I slighted myself
And you took my.chance away
And put me back on the shelf
Dearly Departed Rose 
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