We have to talk

I miss him in the quiet

I hate it but I do

I’ve made some mistakes before

But I really fucked up with you

It hurts to see you move on

Knowing that I’m to blame

I’m glad you’re in a better place

I’m still filled with shame

What is happiness anyways?

And why does it mean so much?

I’ve torn apart a family

I’ve lost my only crutch

I’m sorry that I hurt you

In the process I hurt me to

And there’s no turning back now

No matter what I do

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decrepit discrepancies

 Broken_by_nightshadevalentine

rotting from the inside out

wrought with insecurity and fear

I don’t know what it’s all about

And I don’t think you really care

I don’t know where to go from here

What to even say to you

where to put the feelings i once held so dear

What am i to do?

I don’t want to walk away

though my head knows it’s what’s right

my insides still decay

an endless internal fight

Internal Wars

Image

 

Seething with indecision

Frantically sorting files in my head

I don’t know which way turn this time

Longing to be dead

 

I want to give in to myself

Do everything I know I shouldn’t

But rationality is taking over

Oh fuck I wish it wouldn’t

 

I’m climbing these fucking walls

With this longing stemmed from my heart

How easy to give in and live a selfish life

I’m internally ripping myself  apart

 

Why do I do this to myself

Fuck I don’t even know

I’ve got to get this shit together

Push this pain back down below