We have to talk

I miss him in the quiet

I hate it but I do

I’ve made some mistakes before

But I really fucked up with you

It hurts to see you move on

Knowing that I’m to blame

I’m glad you’re in a better place

I’m still filled with shame

What is happiness anyways?

And why does it mean so much?

I’ve torn apart a family

I’ve lost my only crutch

I’m sorry that I hurt you

In the process I hurt me to

And there’s no turning back now

No matter what I do

decrepit discrepancies


rotting from the inside out

wrought with insecurity and fear

I don’t know what it’s all about

And I don’t think you really care

I don’t know where to go from here

What to even say to you

where to put the feelings i once held so dear

What am i to do?

I don’t want to walk away

though my head knows it’s what’s right

my insides still decay

an endless internal fight

Internal Wars



Seething with indecision

Frantically sorting files in my head

I don’t know which way turn this time

Longing to be dead


I want to give in to myself

Do everything I know I shouldn’t

But rationality is taking over

Oh fuck I wish it wouldn’t


I’m climbing these fucking walls

With this longing stemmed from my heart

How easy to give in and live a selfish life

I’m internally ripping myself  apart


Why do I do this to myself

Fuck I don’t even know

I’ve got to get this shit together

Push this pain back down below