Again and again

And here I am alone again

Here comes that hole again

Forgot to play my role again

Got myself feeling low again

Drown the heart you stole again

Your love takes its toll again

When will I feel whole again?

Starting to lose my control again

Fighting to save my soul again 

As it goes spiraling down the bowl again

Time for you to quit the show again 

I’m getting hit with “no” again

Feel I’ve nowhere to go again 

Trails of Blue

What is my deal with you?

You’re really not that great

But my heart runs away with you

And I am left with the fate
Why can’t I get away from this ?

No matter how hard I try 

But the moment that you insist

Into the lake of fire I fly
How can you even go on?

Hurting people the way you do?

Living with the pain you spawn? 

Leaving a trail of blue 

One day….


So sick of saying one day

Why can’t that be now

I’m sick of this fake life I lead

I wish that I knew how
Why didn’t I just feel

And go with what I wanted

Instead of doing the right thing

And now my life feels stunted 
I hope there is a one day

I know I slighted myself 

And you took my.chance away

And put me back on the shelf

So Dark

So sick of sadness

Tired of searching for light

I’ll never find happiness

So why not give up the fight
I’ve burned all my bridges

And changed all the locks

Handled all my business

I answer as hell knocks
What are they to do to me

Better than what’s going on here

I’d rather burn for all to see

Than live with all this fear
I thought that I was loved

Brittle little lie I told myself

I can’t go on this way 

I feel I need some help

I Am Darkness

I am the darkness

I am that being that puts the chill in your bones

The breath on the back of your neck
I am the very definition of evil 

A succubus

Don’t tempt me 
Betrayal beckons 

No one ever came for me

As no one will come for you
I am the scream of terror in the night 

The shadow in the trees

The creaking in your home at night
I am your invisible enemy

Just watching 

Waiting for my opportunity to feed 
I am your worst nightmare 

The dark cloud hanging over your thoughts

The sounds of the night that instill fear

Deflowered

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My little horror story
My sordid tale to tell
So if you’ll follow me
I’ll take you to my hell

When I was just a girl
The devil came to me
He showed me I was a woman
I could never get clean

Your Jesus never washed me
The blood was my reminder
No one ever came for me
The world was never unkinder

I never had a white horsed prince
Just a beast in ratty jeans
With no one to hold my hands
My wounds still left unclean

Every girl has a horror story
Her own sordid tale to tell
I’ve told you some of mine
A little piece of my hell

Revelations

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Sleep deprivation
Is such an agitation
I need some medication
To escape this aggrivation
Im growing so impatient
With the constant alienation
i will withdraw my hesitation
And take down this whole nation
I need i new sensation
Besides this damnation
So stuck on this station
Drowning with no flotation
So filled up with this frustration
In need of revelation
Instead of soul starvation
Be my salvation
Give me my sedation
So i can give my proclamation
And rejoice in revelations

Lobotomy please?

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You just go on with your life
While im bogged down with memories
You are the one holding the knife
As i remember everything you ever said to me

What goes on in that head of yours
Whats hidden behind those eyes
That makes it easy to walk away from me
As you fill up my head with lies

Whats a girl supposed to do
When you wont get out of her head
I hope to one day forget about you
Hopefully before i am dead

Suffering sun

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I suffer in sunlight
I can’t see to find my way
I bask in my self pity
And pray for night each day

My solace lies in shadows
Where I can lie unseen
And walk about invisible
Find poetry in the obscene

Where are the other night walkers
Why must I walk alone
Maybe because I’m different
And even night walkers have a home

Indentured

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I don’t feel that I deserve this
Although you don’t treat me well
It seems you are impervious
And I’m trapped in your spell

I long for sounds of silence
I’m trapped inside my skull
My thoughts come with such violence
I wish I couldn’t think at all

I am your indentured service
Which you remind me of each week
You speak of only nonsense
Whilst I can barely speak

I love you and I loathe you
I should have passed you by
I can’t continue with you telling me what to do
And I can’t continue to lie

Your tone is so unnecessary
I cower in your shadow
How am I so Inciniery
I’m up the creek without a paddle

What makes me so subservient
I need to learn to change it
Because inside I am a deviant
I need to rearrange it