Again and again

And here I am alone again

Here comes that hole again

Forgot to play my role again

Got myself feeling low again

Drown the heart you stole again

Your love takes its toll again

When will I feel whole again?

Starting to lose my control again

Fighting to save my soul again 

As it goes spiraling down the bowl again

Time for you to quit the show again 

I’m getting hit with “no” again

Feel I’ve nowhere to go again 

The dancing demon

Got to get you the fuck out of my head

You’re the demon I never should have fed

All I really wanted is you in my bed

And I’m left drowning in a sea of tears instead
We could have lived a life of total debauchery

If you hadn’t made me such a mockery

And made me go all stalkery 

What the fuck is wrong with me? 
Can anyone tell me the answer ?

When it comes to the truth he’s such a good dancer

Inside I’m such a disaster

And in the matter of my heart he is my master
I wish I could get him out of me

And that there was a cure for this heart disease

And that I could lay my mind at ease

But with tears in my eyes I’m still begging please
And as low as it makes me feel to plead

I’m still down on my hands and knees

Anything you want is free

If you just take this ride with me

Undeniable 

I wish i didn’t miss you

I wish I didn’t care

I wish you would be true to me

I wish this was all more fair
What is it that you want from me? 

I’m feeling used again

And next time you come back around

Could I even be your friend?
I’ll always wait around for you

A truth I can’t deny

And maybe you’ll find some worth in me

And let the years stop passing by

Puppet Princess

Something to get excited about

I think he finally sees

Although I made some wrong turns

He can do as he please
I’m his little puppet

I designed myself as such

And he can only play with me

If he can keep in touch
I hope he sticks around this time

And we can have our own world

Where hours tick by in seconds

And we aren’t bound by fear
I’ll be his puppet princess

And he’ll make my dreams come true

And we will live on happily

Be glad it isn’t you

Link

White knuckles 

I need to occupy my mind
Find a way within myself
To find what it is i need to find

I need to hold on to this light
Dont turn back to darkness
Just grab and hold on tight

With the white knuckle grip you have inside
You have come so far
Just hold on to your pride

I feel my tenacity faltering
I dont know what to do
I feel my mind realtering

I cannot keep my strength
I feel the poison build back up
I try to keep it at length

I hope its all over soon
If i cant go on without you
I fear it spells my doom

Secret Beacon

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I was so lost for so long
And in walks you a shining beacon
Shedding light on all that was wrong
While i tried to stay in shadow

What is it that makes me love you
Im never jilted by your indifference
It has everything to do with you
I am not your only preference

Why do you hide from me
You know you want to talk
I promise not to steal you away
But we must walk this walk

If what i want is closure why cant i walk away
You dont even want me
But my feelings are here to stay
Though we are not meant to be

Nothing is written in stone they say
Yet my heart traiterously falls back to you
Youve already gone too far away
And theres nothing i can do

I anxiously await the day our paths cross
Because oh i know they will
And maybe i can feel something again
My dirty little thrill

Revelations

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Sleep deprivation
Is such an agitation
I need some medication
To escape this aggrivation
Im growing so impatient
With the constant alienation
i will withdraw my hesitation
And take down this whole nation
I need i new sensation
Besides this damnation
So stuck on this station
Drowning with no flotation
So filled up with this frustration
In need of revelation
Instead of soul starvation
Be my salvation
Give me my sedation
So i can give my proclamation
And rejoice in revelations

Mental Purgatory

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Stuck in this purgatory
With no one to share my story
I wish he would come back from sea
I really just want him out of me

Still cant get him out of my head
Makes me feel im better off dead
All of these feelings constantly fed
Makes waking up fill me with dread

I swear that i seduce myself
Cant bring myself down so high on this shelf
You came crashing through no hint of stealth
And cost me my emotional wealth

I need you to come back to me
So together we both can be free
And together we’ll take on the sea
And escape from our purgatory

When I said it I meant it

lklk

It’s hard to believe you missed me

when you weren’t there

and you could of been

you are so unfair

 

i always think about you

it haunts me day to day

and you just walk in and out

i wish you would just stay

 

my life could be a whole lot different

we could be together

but you chose a different path

and i couldn’t hold the tether

 

i can’t believe i still want you

more than want it’s love

and you constantly dismiss me

always give me the shove

 

i am still here waiting

for you to see the truth

that i meant what i said

i have loved you since my youth

I’m asking

peculiar_and_wondrous_by_chryssalis-d3dwm8y-scaled1000

 

please leave me alone

i don’t really care

how great your life is

because mine is unfair

 

please leave me alone

i just want to die

nothing to live for

and i do nothing but cry

 

please leave me alone

i don’t want to see you

i can’t trust you people

you all are deceitful

 

please leave me alone

i just need a break

before i lose my cool

and make another mistake

 

please leave me alone

can’t you see i’ve had enough

i was already broken

even though i act tough

 

please leave me alone

i don’t feel like you do

we’re not the same

your intentions untrue

 

please leave me alone

this has come to an end

i no longer trust you

you’re no longer my friend