His secret 

I want to be your secret 

But a terrific one to tell

But if you’d just let me out sometimes

I know I’d fair you well
I do like our special secret 

But I just want to breathe

Fill up this little hole inside 

And feel the wind shake my leaves 
I love our little secret

But don’t you miss the world? 

We could still be alone our own way

I’ll always be you’re girl 
And I can keep a secret 

So please just set me free 

And when I have my freedom 

I promise you will see 

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Haunted by the Living

I dreamed of you last night 

There just isn’t an escape 

Can’t get away whilst I’m sleeping

And haunted when I’m awake

I don’t want to dream of Shadows

Or feel this hollow pain

People have real problems 

Mine are in my brain 
Can’t handle this rejection

It eats at me everyday

My mind cannot escape him

It pulls me in separate ways 
Haunted by the living 

A tale we know to well

I’ve nothing left for giving 

And too much left to tell 

Goodbye again 

 

If you cared you wouldn’t talk to me

You would leave me to get a life 

I’m tired of relinquishing  power to you

And you revel in twisting the knife
I’m sorry it has to be this way

I thought you were the one

But you wanted me for convenience 

I was just for fun
And as much as it pains me

I have to walk away

I need to step back into reality

And I’ve finally nothing more to say 

Again and again

And here I am alone again

Here comes that hole again

Forgot to play my role again

Got myself feeling low again

Drown the heart you stole again

Your love takes its toll again

When will I feel whole again?

Starting to lose my control again

Fighting to save my soul again 

As it goes spiraling down the bowl again

Time for you to quit the show again 

I’m getting hit with “no” again

Feel I’ve nowhere to go again 

The dancing demon

Got to get you the fuck out of my head

You’re the demon I never should have fed

All I really wanted is you in my bed

And I’m left drowning in a sea of tears instead
We could have lived a life of total debauchery

If you hadn’t made me such a mockery

And made me go all stalkery 

What the fuck is wrong with me? 
Can anyone tell me the answer ?

When it comes to the truth he’s such a good dancer

Inside I’m such a disaster

And in the matter of my heart he is my master
I wish I could get him out of me

And that there was a cure for this heart disease

And that I could lay my mind at ease

But with tears in my eyes I’m still begging please
And as low as it makes me feel to plead

I’m still down on my hands and knees

Anything you want is free

If you just take this ride with me

Suffering sun

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I suffer in sunlight
I can’t see to find my way
I bask in my self pity
And pray for night each day

My solace lies in shadows
Where I can lie unseen
And walk about invisible
Find poetry in the obscene

Where are the other night walkers
Why must I walk alone
Maybe because I’m different
And even night walkers have a home

Love you best

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I hear you in the silence
Feel that twist beneath my chest
I try to repel it down
But I can’t help but love you best

We will never be together
The saddest words I’ve ever uttered
My mind still drifts to you
Mind recordings cut through me like butter

I’ve got to live without you
Fill this hole beneath my breasts
I am completely terrified
That I will always love you best

I’ve used all my will to stay away
And even with you far away
I still have this price to pay
I grow weaker with each day

I need to be happy without you
I think my pain has drunk it’s fill
And you continue on as you do
As I swallow down this big ass pill

So how do I get you out of my mind
You’ve made my head such a mess
So much pain I fear I’ll go blind
And still I love you best

Set me free

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I want to live in the land of magic
Where money grows on trees
Where pigs fly around your head
And you don’t get stung by bees

I want to live in fairytales
With centaurs who have kings
And fairies are all around us
And I myself have wings

I want to live on an island
With plenty of fruit to eat
And every creature that comes at me
Will always meet defeat

I want to be somewhere else
And I really don’t want to be me
So uncomfortable in my skin these days
Please just set me free

Indentured

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I don’t feel that I deserve this
Although you don’t treat me well
It seems you are impervious
And I’m trapped in your spell

I long for sounds of silence
I’m trapped inside my skull
My thoughts come with such violence
I wish I couldn’t think at all

I am your indentured service
Which you remind me of each week
You speak of only nonsense
Whilst I can barely speak

I love you and I loathe you
I should have passed you by
I can’t continue with you telling me what to do
And I can’t continue to lie

Your tone is so unnecessary
I cower in your shadow
How am I so Inciniery
I’m up the creek without a paddle

What makes me so subservient
I need to learn to change it
Because inside I am a deviant
I need to rearrange it

Endless torture

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The nights they are the longest
Because my mind is full of you
So much time has passed
You’ve proved I am a fool

Your kisses they still linger
I feel your fingers drag my skin
My heart still beats for you
I revel in the sin

And though It knows it shouldn’t
My mind still drifts to you
And even though we couldn’t
Our time is never through

Even though you’ve forsaken me

I still feel like we’re meant to be

Rid me of this disease

I just want you please

I endure through these long nights

And try to corral thoughts of all types

Someone please turn out the lights

I feel I’ve nothing left to fight