Again and again

And here I am alone again

Here comes that hole again

Forgot to play my role again

Got myself feeling low again

Drown the heart you stole again

Your love takes its toll again

When will I feel whole again?

Starting to lose my control again

Fighting to save my soul again 

As it goes spiraling down the bowl again

Time for you to quit the show again 

I’m getting hit with “no” again

Feel I’ve nowhere to go again 

One day….


So sick of saying one day

Why can’t that be now

I’m sick of this fake life I lead

I wish that I knew how
Why didn’t I just feel

And go with what I wanted

Instead of doing the right thing

And now my life feels stunted 
I hope there is a one day

I know I slighted myself 

And you took my.chance away

And put me back on the shelf

Self afflicted 


I’m sick of being my own enemy

I want to fuck life up

I want to take down this town

I’m going to fucking erupt

==================================
Such a bad taste in my mouth 

And a belly filled with hate

You will not fuck with me this time

You can no longer escape your fate

==================================

You always get away with this

I can’t stand idly by

While you move on with your life

I want to watch you fry

==================================

So go ahead come on fuck with me again

But I promise I’ll watch you go down

I can’t even be your friend

Be prepared to drown 

Undeniable 

I wish i didn’t miss you

I wish I didn’t care

I wish you would be true to me

I wish this was all more fair
What is it that you want from me? 

I’m feeling used again

And next time you come back around

Could I even be your friend?
I’ll always wait around for you

A truth I can’t deny

And maybe you’ll find some worth in me

And let the years stop passing by

If only words could express

You

With your silver tongue and autumn eyes

With your talk of a captivating utopia

You’re my demon in disguise
You

Causing my auto erotic fantasies

That leave me completely sybaritic 

And fill me with complete vanity
You 

With your libidinous smile

That fills me with amatory lust

Enough to make lesser women go senile
You

With your lascivious imagination

So sexy and diabolical

Made as if by my own personal creation
You 

Completely under my skin

Feeling completely consumed

Ready for the sin to begin
You 

Never completely mine

Fill me with otherworldly desire

Please don’t let go this time 

Link

White knuckles 

I need to occupy my mind
Find a way within myself
To find what it is i need to find

I need to hold on to this light
Dont turn back to darkness
Just grab and hold on tight

With the white knuckle grip you have inside
You have come so far
Just hold on to your pride

I feel my tenacity faltering
I dont know what to do
I feel my mind realtering

I cannot keep my strength
I feel the poison build back up
I try to keep it at length

I hope its all over soon
If i cant go on without you
I fear it spells my doom

Secret Beacon

image

I was so lost for so long
And in walks you a shining beacon
Shedding light on all that was wrong
While i tried to stay in shadow

What is it that makes me love you
Im never jilted by your indifference
It has everything to do with you
I am not your only preference

Why do you hide from me
You know you want to talk
I promise not to steal you away
But we must walk this walk

If what i want is closure why cant i walk away
You dont even want me
But my feelings are here to stay
Though we are not meant to be

Nothing is written in stone they say
Yet my heart traiterously falls back to you
Youve already gone too far away
And theres nothing i can do

I anxiously await the day our paths cross
Because oh i know they will
And maybe i can feel something again
My dirty little thrill

Deflowered

image

My little horror story
My sordid tale to tell
So if you’ll follow me
I’ll take you to my hell

When I was just a girl
The devil came to me
He showed me I was a woman
I could never get clean

Your Jesus never washed me
The blood was my reminder
No one ever came for me
The world was never unkinder

I never had a white horsed prince
Just a beast in ratty jeans
With no one to hold my hands
My wounds still left unclean

Every girl has a horror story
Her own sordid tale to tell
I’ve told you some of mine
A little piece of my hell

No one but you

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Please come back to me

We’d barely just begun

The best is already over

And the worst is yet to come

You let me lie here bleeding tears

searching for my wrongdoings

whilst you walked away from me

as if you had no feelings

And while my heart still bleeds for you

I try to grow  fond for  another

I don’t know what else i could do

Because for me, there is no other

Nothing left but the dead

the_ghost_behind_me_forest_raven_girl_2560x1440_hd-wallpaper-1528321

There’s something in the air here

That makes this place seem eerie

I can feel the static in my hair

Feel as if the dead are near me

The time has come i fear

For the dead to have their reckoning

And as they draw more near

I can hear my  death is beckoning

I  have what they’re looking for

For I  breathe the breath of life

They resent my heartbeat more and more

Cut into me with no knife in sight

They’re going to creep inside this town

and fill up every hollow

their is no backing down

It’s more than I can swallow

Fill up my streets with they’re wails of sadness

Then they come for their revenge

They’re filled up with their madness

So for me this  story ends