Wishes……

 


If life was made of wishes 

I’d wish for so many things

Not the things you’d think of

I don’t need diamond rings
I just need stability

A place to lay my head

I would go anywhere with you 

Who really needs a bed?
If life were made of wishes

I would wish for you 

Even after the way you treated me 

I wish this wasn’t true 
I feel as though you’re meant for me

But you just keep escaping 

You know how to work your manipulation 

And I’m yours for the taking
If life were made of wishes 

It would be just you and I 

But my life is not made of wishes 

And you weren’t meant to fly 

Haunted by the Living

I dreamed of you last night 

There just isn’t an escape 

Can’t get away whilst I’m sleeping

And haunted when I’m awake

I don’t want to dream of Shadows

Or feel this hollow pain

People have real problems 

Mine are in my brain 
Can’t handle this rejection

It eats at me everyday

My mind cannot escape him

It pulls me in separate ways 
Haunted by the living 

A tale we know to well

I’ve nothing left for giving 

And too much left to tell 

Again and again

And here I am alone again

Here comes that hole again

Forgot to play my role again

Got myself feeling low again

Drown the heart you stole again

Your love takes its toll again

When will I feel whole again?

Starting to lose my control again

Fighting to save my soul again 

As it goes spiraling down the bowl again

Time for you to quit the show again 

I’m getting hit with “no” again

Feel I’ve nowhere to go again 

One day….


So sick of saying one day

Why can’t that be now

I’m sick of this fake life I lead

I wish that I knew how
Why didn’t I just feel

And go with what I wanted

Instead of doing the right thing

And now my life feels stunted 
I hope there is a one day

I know I slighted myself 

And you took my.chance away

And put me back on the shelf

Self afflicted 


I’m sick of being my own enemy

I want to fuck life up

I want to take down this town

I’m going to fucking erupt

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Such a bad taste in my mouth 

And a belly filled with hate

You will not fuck with me this time

You can no longer escape your fate

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You always get away with this

I can’t stand idly by

While you move on with your life

I want to watch you fry

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So go ahead come on fuck with me again

But I promise I’ll watch you go down

I can’t even be your friend

Be prepared to drown 

Undeniable 

I wish i didn’t miss you

I wish I didn’t care

I wish you would be true to me

I wish this was all more fair
What is it that you want from me? 

I’m feeling used again

And next time you come back around

Could I even be your friend?
I’ll always wait around for you

A truth I can’t deny

And maybe you’ll find some worth in me

And let the years stop passing by

If only words could express

You

With your silver tongue and autumn eyes

With your talk of a captivating utopia

You’re my demon in disguise
You

Causing my auto erotic fantasies

That leave me completely sybaritic 

And fill me with complete vanity
You 

With your libidinous smile

That fills me with amatory lust

Enough to make lesser women go senile
You

With your lascivious imagination

So sexy and diabolical

Made as if by my own personal creation
You 

Completely under my skin

Feeling completely consumed

Ready for the sin to begin
You 

Never completely mine

Fill me with otherworldly desire

Please don’t let go this time 

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White knuckles 

I need to occupy my mind
Find a way within myself
To find what it is i need to find

I need to hold on to this light
Dont turn back to darkness
Just grab and hold on tight

With the white knuckle grip you have inside
You have come so far
Just hold on to your pride

I feel my tenacity faltering
I dont know what to do
I feel my mind realtering

I cannot keep my strength
I feel the poison build back up
I try to keep it at length

I hope its all over soon
If i cant go on without you
I fear it spells my doom

Secret Beacon

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I was so lost for so long
And in walks you a shining beacon
Shedding light on all that was wrong
While i tried to stay in shadow

What is it that makes me love you
Im never jilted by your indifference
It has everything to do with you
I am not your only preference

Why do you hide from me
You know you want to talk
I promise not to steal you away
But we must walk this walk

If what i want is closure why cant i walk away
You dont even want me
But my feelings are here to stay
Though we are not meant to be

Nothing is written in stone they say
Yet my heart traiterously falls back to you
Youve already gone too far away
And theres nothing i can do

I anxiously await the day our paths cross
Because oh i know they will
And maybe i can feel something again
My dirty little thrill

Deflowered

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My little horror story
My sordid tale to tell
So if you’ll follow me
I’ll take you to my hell

When I was just a girl
The devil came to me
He showed me I was a woman
I could never get clean

Your Jesus never washed me
The blood was my reminder
No one ever came for me
The world was never unkinder

I never had a white horsed prince
Just a beast in ratty jeans
With no one to hold my hands
My wounds still left unclean

Every girl has a horror story
Her own sordid tale to tell
I’ve told you some of mine
A little piece of my hell