We have to talk

I miss him in the quiet

I hate it but I do

I’ve made some mistakes before

But I really fucked up with you

It hurts to see you move on

Knowing that I’m to blame

I’m glad you’re in a better place

I’m still filled with shame

What is happiness anyways?

And why does it mean so much?

I’ve torn apart a family

I’ve lost my only crutch

I’m sorry that I hurt you

In the process I hurt me to

And there’s no turning back now

No matter what I do

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Victimized 


I always act like the victim
Because I am the fucking victim
A victim of hatred
A victim of sin
When does the real sinning begin?
I hate myself
Especially my reflection
That causes your erection
That’s all I am
An erection

A constant imperfection

That shows no indiscretion 

Constantly losing my direction 

And tired of rejection 

And being up for subjection 

And suffering an infinite dissection

Then comes my objection 

Like a punch to my midsection 

I’m in need of some affection

And a little more protection

And in my future projections

I will find the right connection

New life 

I can get a life now

Though I don’t know where to start

I feel as though I’m cold now

In matters of the heart
 I want to start this journey

How do I find the road

The one that leads away from here

No more doing as I’m told
Even though I’m wrecking him

I need what’s best for me

He took me all for granted

And left me out to sea
And though this world is scary

It’s time for me to part

Search to get my warmth back 

And piece together my heart 

Dear John 

Don’t want to end you

But what can I do

I need to get a life 

Not go this round with you
Were both unhappy 

And life isn’t fair

Thought we were forever

But you just didn’t care 
Can’t place all the blame on you

I’ll take my share of the burden 

I can admit I’m wrong 

If I could ever get a word in 
I wanted to make you better

But you will never change 

And so for are family 

I’ll have to rearrange 
Because our kids aren’t happy 

And neither are we

So I’ll whittle us down

From 4 down to 3

Payback


What is it that im doing here?
I know this is a place to fear
But im not thinking very clear
I feel the end is creeping near

What is it i can do
To make you feel the truth
And know that we’re not through
How do i get to you

I want to pierce those piercing eyes
And crush your head between my thighs

Leave this world with no goodbyes

Here’s the payback for all your lies 

Bullet

I didn’t think you’d come back this time 

I thought I made it clear 

Without you I’m not fine 

But you’ll always dissappear 
I don’t know what I see in you 

I deserve so much better

And if you’d only stay away 

I could release this vision of together
But you’re just here to fuck with me

To make sure I lose my mind 

Leave me with all these maybes 

So I know I’ll never be “fine”
I can’t get away from you 

No matter how fast and far I run

Nothing I wouldn’t do for you

The bullet to your gun 

Mental Purgatory

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Stuck in this purgatory
With no one to share my story
I wish he would come back from sea
I really just want him out of me

Still cant get him out of my head
Makes me feel im better off dead
All of these feelings constantly fed
Makes waking up fill me with dread

I swear that i seduce myself
Cant bring myself down so high on this shelf
You came crashing through no hint of stealth
And cost me my emotional wealth

I need you to come back to me
So together we both can be free
And together we’ll take on the sea
And escape from our purgatory

Set me free

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I want to live in the land of magic
Where money grows on trees
Where pigs fly around your head
And you don’t get stung by bees

I want to live in fairytales
With centaurs who have kings
And fairies are all around us
And I myself have wings

I want to live on an island
With plenty of fruit to eat
And every creature that comes at me
Will always meet defeat

I want to be somewhere else
And I really don’t want to be me
So uncomfortable in my skin these days
Please just set me free

Indentured

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I don’t feel that I deserve this
Although you don’t treat me well
It seems you are impervious
And I’m trapped in your spell

I long for sounds of silence
I’m trapped inside my skull
My thoughts come with such violence
I wish I couldn’t think at all

I am your indentured service
Which you remind me of each week
You speak of only nonsense
Whilst I can barely speak

I love you and I loathe you
I should have passed you by
I can’t continue with you telling me what to do
And I can’t continue to lie

Your tone is so unnecessary
I cower in your shadow
How am I so Inciniery
I’m up the creek without a paddle

What makes me so subservient
I need to learn to change it
Because inside I am a deviant
I need to rearrange it

Why couldn’t you let me be

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Even after all your forsaking

My heart is still yours for the taking

Even after all my yearning

I continue on never learning

stuck in this world of complete delusion

How did i Fall  for this illusion

Let you engage a full intrusion

How did we end with this conclusion?

Why didn’t you just let me be

Just let my heart be young and free

Instead of taking it In your custody