Dear John 

Don’t want to end you

But what can I do

I need to get a life 

Not go this round with you
Were both unhappy 

And life isn’t fair

Thought we were forever

But you just didn’t care 
Can’t place all the blame on you

I’ll take my share of the burden 

I can admit I’m wrong 

If I could ever get a word in 
I wanted to make you better

But you will never change 

And so for are family 

I’ll have to rearrange 
Because our kids aren’t happy 

And neither are we

So I’ll whittle us down

From 4 down to 3

Advertisements

Payback


What is it that im doing here?
I know this is a place to fear
But im not thinking very clear
I feel the end is creeping near

What is it i can do
To make you feel the truth
And know that we’re not through
How do i get to you

I want to pierce those piercing eyes
And crush your head between my thighs

Leave this world with no goodbyes

Here’s the payback for all your lies 

His secret 

I want to be your secret 

But a terrific one to tell

But if you’d just let me out sometimes

I know I’d fair you well
I do like our special secret 

But I just want to breathe

Fill up this little hole inside 

And feel the wind shake my leaves 
I love our little secret

But don’t you miss the world? 

We could still be alone our own way

I’ll always be you’re girl 
And I can keep a secret 

So please just set me free 

And when I have my freedom 

I promise you will see 

Bullet

I didn’t think you’d come back this time 

I thought I made it clear 

Without you I’m not fine 

But you’ll always dissappear 
I don’t know what I see in you 

I deserve so much better

And if you’d only stay away 

I could release this vision of together
But you’re just here to fuck with me

To make sure I lose my mind 

Leave me with all these maybes 

So I know I’ll never be “fine”
I can’t get away from you 

No matter how fast and far I run

Nothing I wouldn’t do for you

The bullet to your gun 

Again and again

And here I am alone again

Here comes that hole again

Forgot to play my role again

Got myself feeling low again

Drown the heart you stole again

Your love takes its toll again

When will I feel whole again?

Starting to lose my control again

Fighting to save my soul again 

As it goes spiraling down the bowl again

Time for you to quit the show again 

I’m getting hit with “no” again

Feel I’ve nowhere to go again 

Suffering sun

image

I suffer in sunlight
I can’t see to find my way
I bask in my self pity
And pray for night each day

My solace lies in shadows
Where I can lie unseen
And walk about invisible
Find poetry in the obscene

Where are the other night walkers
Why must I walk alone
Maybe because I’m different
And even night walkers have a home

Love you best

image

I hear you in the silence
Feel that twist beneath my chest
I try to repel it down
But I can’t help but love you best

We will never be together
The saddest words I’ve ever uttered
My mind still drifts to you
Mind recordings cut through me like butter

I’ve got to live without you
Fill this hole beneath my breasts
I am completely terrified
That I will always love you best

I’ve used all my will to stay away
And even with you far away
I still have this price to pay
I grow weaker with each day

I need to be happy without you
I think my pain has drunk it’s fill
And you continue on as you do
As I swallow down this big ass pill

So how do I get you out of my mind
You’ve made my head such a mess
So much pain I fear I’ll go blind
And still I love you best

Set me free

image

I want to live in the land of magic
Where money grows on trees
Where pigs fly around your head
And you don’t get stung by bees

I want to live in fairytales
With centaurs who have kings
And fairies are all around us
And I myself have wings

I want to live on an island
With plenty of fruit to eat
And every creature that comes at me
Will always meet defeat

I want to be somewhere else
And I really don’t want to be me
So uncomfortable in my skin these days
Please just set me free

Indentured

image

I don’t feel that I deserve this
Although you don’t treat me well
It seems you are impervious
And I’m trapped in your spell

I long for sounds of silence
I’m trapped inside my skull
My thoughts come with such violence
I wish I couldn’t think at all

I am your indentured service
Which you remind me of each week
You speak of only nonsense
Whilst I can barely speak

I love you and I loathe you
I should have passed you by
I can’t continue with you telling me what to do
And I can’t continue to lie

Your tone is so unnecessary
I cower in your shadow
How am I so Inciniery
I’m up the creek without a paddle

What makes me so subservient
I need to learn to change it
Because inside I am a deviant
I need to rearrange it

Endless torture

crushed_rose_by_barnavkristus.jpg

The nights they are the longest
Because my mind is full of you
So much time has passed
You’ve proved I am a fool

Your kisses they still linger
I feel your fingers drag my skin
My heart still beats for you
I revel in the sin

And though It knows it shouldn’t
My mind still drifts to you
And even though we couldn’t
Our time is never through

Even though you’ve forsaken me

I still feel like we’re meant to be

Rid me of this disease

I just want you please

I endure through these long nights

And try to corral thoughts of all types

Someone please turn out the lights

I feel I’ve nothing left to fight