We have to talk

I miss him in the quiet

I hate it but I do

I’ve made some mistakes before

But I really fucked up with you

It hurts to see you move on

Knowing that I’m to blame

I’m glad you’re in a better place

I’m still filled with shame

What is happiness anyways?

And why does it mean so much?

I’ve torn apart a family

I’ve lost my only crutch

I’m sorry that I hurt you

In the process I hurt me to

And there’s no turning back now

No matter what I do

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Monopoly

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You play me like I’m some game

As if I am the one that is to blame

And all it ends with for me is shame

Sadly though I’m still your dame

I still break my back in vain

knowing there will be only pain

you’re the only one who’ll gain

And I’ll be left in the cold wet rain

All it does is make me insane

Why can’t I get it through my brain

That you just don’t feel the same

And I will never have you tame

Phantasmagoria

Dreaming

The question is not if but when

When  will you decide to do it again

you spin me around and there is no end

I grow dizzy of our endless circle

Just when i gain my balance there is a reversal

This just needs to stop I’m only a mortal

your absence It just cuts me so deep

and your prices are so fucking steep

And I Can’t even escape you in my sleep

“Us”

balance

and so the lines are drawn

you’ll go left and I’ll go right

we both fought the battle

but it shouldn’t have been a fight

we didn’t realize we were at war

with both of ourselves and the world as well

you’ve taken me down with you

both of us are going to hell

I know it’s meant to be this way

just didn’t think it would feel like this

I cant heal the hole left in my heart

I wish that “we” never existed

I’ll see you again some years from now

maybe you’ll feel differently

don’t know how we always come back

to this place unintentionally

Changing Stars

 index

I don’t know you really

but i’d give it all up for you

and i know that it’s  silly

but i’m a romantic fool

I think about you always

I cannot  escape it

even if i push it away

when i sleep i dream it

there has to be something there

or is it all just my fantasy?

we haven’t got much time to spare

let’s change our reality

we can do it you and i

as long as we have each other

you just take your hand in mine

let’s jump in together

Alternatives

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I want to be the wind so I can just blow away

I want to become a bird to eliminate my need to stay

I want to be the ocean and flow with the rolling waves

I want to be someone else not this girl who just behaves

I want to be free of this path I’ve chosen for myself

I want to unpack all those dreams I’ve had placed upon my shelf

I want people to see me not stay caught up in this dream

I want to do break away from this, rip apart this seam

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