Lobotomy please?

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You just go on with your life
While im bogged down with memories
You are the one holding the knife
As i remember everything you ever said to me

What goes on in that head of yours
Whats hidden behind those eyes
That makes it easy to walk away from me
As you fill up my head with lies

Whats a girl supposed to do
When you wont get out of her head
I hope to one day forget about you
Hopefully before i am dead

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Condemnation

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As the sand flows through the glass

I look at how much time has passed

And how i’ve sailed through life half mast

And how i want you to be first and last

But you put me to the side

in such a way that i despise

But i’ll give in when i see those eyes

to you this comes as no surprise

I’ll follow you to the bitter end

And always try to remain your friend

Even when it falls out of trend

In this love im perpetually condemned

Bcause of You

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As I exist here lonely and weeping

The pornographic visions come creeping

as my heart continues sinking

don’t know what my brain was thinking

i knew in my heart of hearts

you would again tear me apart

and i would again be left in the dark

But i couldn’t help but let it start

Because it always comes down to you

and you always do those things that you do

even though my heart’s been true

I will always be your fool

So until the inevitable end

I will lend you more than an ear my friend

and the price I will tend

No matter what i have to spend

The Reaping

follow me back down the hole

where all the well wishers go

make sure you keep your sins in tow

nothing can be hidden he will already know

So follow me down below

where the devil waits to take your soul

It was never really yours to hold

and you were meant to walk this road

he wants to take it nice and slow

Keep you all out on the row

“for all your sins” he shall crow

And you will feel yourself let go

As you let all your sins blow

suddenly your filled with woe

your sins wrapped up in a bow

You’ve never ever, felt so low

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As your judged from head to toe

you have no choice but to let it go

As whats left of you as liquid it flows

you remembered they said you reap what you sow

God complex

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I’ve wondered what it would be like to kill someone

To drive a sharp  knife through the flesh of another person

to watch as i skillfully slice them open

to see the bounty of my perversion

To taste the salty sweet life nectar

To feel the hot stickiness flow down my chin

my victim all alone with no protector

oh let the sweet sin begin

oh how they would bleed for me

As i watch the life light leave their eyes

While they scream for me to let them be

as I bring them to their demise

Left Behind

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I was on cloud 9 for once

Then you had to walk in

All those good feelings wasted away

And so we must begin

To take another go on this tilt a whirl

Your love makes me sick

makes me recoil inside myself

And you’ll be gone rather quick

All the endless hours i wasted

time i can never get back

gives me time to think i guess

you’re a tough code to crack

What goes on in that head of yours

I may never know

Because you’ll leave me with my dick in my hand

With nothing left to show

Complacent

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What is it in me

That’s so afraid to change?

I know I need to move on.

Why can’t i rearrange?

What is it inside

That keeps holding me back

I fight so hard to make up for

All of the things that I lack

What was once apart of me

Now feels dead and hollow

Embarrassed for the whole world to see

That I always follow

I’m lost among a sea of people

And yet still I try to hide

It’s as if I feel they’d break me

If they got a glimpse of what’s inside

I grow tired of my complacency

I want to drift away

But I’m always tethered here

Much to my dismay

Existance

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You don’t really want my view

So I’ll keep it for myself

because my opinion is twisted

I’ll place it on my mental shelf

I’ll think about it later

Twirl it in my mind

wonder why I’m so different

why i try to hide

A part of me is lonely

The other part doesn’t care

I try to numb myself

To the fact my life’s not fair

There are people with real problems

Yet I trivialize small things

I just can’t seem to escape myself

To exist beyond just being

My Ink

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If someday you find this

And i hope that you do

I just want to let you know

It was all because of you

Because without this sadness

I’d have no inspiration

Because we had the kind of love

That could move a nation

All the pain you put me through

Was worth it all the while

Everything you did I’d use

To walk this poet’s mile

And every time my hearts reopened

I’ll have a tale to tell

Because you cause my bleeding

You’re the ink my endless well

Even though I love you

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Brutal invasions of my thoughts

Why must you test me so

I thought this was a joint decision

Why can’t you let me go

I know that there is love there

But we’ve chosen different paths

I still believe we belong together

And that your my other half

What am I gonna do with you

When you’ll always choose her over me

Even though i love you

This is how it has to be