Someone Please

Someone kill me please

I can’t take this any more

I’m tired of feeling beaten down

And I’m tired of this floor
Someone kill me please

You would be doing me a service

I’ve got no place that feels like home

I’m tired of feeling useless
Someone kill me please

I’m out here on my own 

I acted like I didn’t need anyone 

And now my covers blown
Someone kill me please 

What else can I do 

Put me out of my misery

Let my story end with you

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Lobotomy please?

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You just go on with your life
While im bogged down with memories
You are the one holding the knife
As i remember everything you ever said to me

What goes on in that head of yours
Whats hidden behind those eyes
That makes it easy to walk away from me
As you fill up my head with lies

Whats a girl supposed to do
When you wont get out of her head
I hope to one day forget about you
Hopefully before i am dead

Suffering sun

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I suffer in sunlight
I can’t see to find my way
I bask in my self pity
And pray for night each day

My solace lies in shadows
Where I can lie unseen
And walk about invisible
Find poetry in the obscene

Where are the other night walkers
Why must I walk alone
Maybe because I’m different
And even night walkers have a home

Love you best

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I hear you in the silence
Feel that twist beneath my chest
I try to repel it down
But I can’t help but love you best

We will never be together
The saddest words I’ve ever uttered
My mind still drifts to you
Mind recordings cut through me like butter

I’ve got to live without you
Fill this hole beneath my breasts
I am completely terrified
That I will always love you best

I’ve used all my will to stay away
And even with you far away
I still have this price to pay
I grow weaker with each day

I need to be happy without you
I think my pain has drunk it’s fill
And you continue on as you do
As I swallow down this big ass pill

So how do I get you out of my mind
You’ve made my head such a mess
So much pain I fear I’ll go blind
And still I love you best

Indentured

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I don’t feel that I deserve this
Although you don’t treat me well
It seems you are impervious
And I’m trapped in your spell

I long for sounds of silence
I’m trapped inside my skull
My thoughts come with such violence
I wish I couldn’t think at all

I am your indentured service
Which you remind me of each week
You speak of only nonsense
Whilst I can barely speak

I love you and I loathe you
I should have passed you by
I can’t continue with you telling me what to do
And I can’t continue to lie

Your tone is so unnecessary
I cower in your shadow
How am I so Inciniery
I’m up the creek without a paddle

What makes me so subservient
I need to learn to change it
Because inside I am a deviant
I need to rearrange it

Why couldn’t you let me be

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Even after all your forsaking

My heart is still yours for the taking

Even after all my yearning

I continue on never learning

stuck in this world of complete delusion

How did i Fall  for this illusion

Let you engage a full intrusion

How did we end with this conclusion?

Why didn’t you just let me be

Just let my heart be young and free

Instead of taking it In your custody

No one but you

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Please come back to me

We’d barely just begun

The best is already over

And the worst is yet to come

You let me lie here bleeding tears

searching for my wrongdoings

whilst you walked away from me

as if you had no feelings

And while my heart still bleeds for you

I try to grow  fond for  another

I don’t know what else i could do

Because for me, there is no other

Monopoly

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You play me like I’m some game

As if I am the one that is to blame

And all it ends with for me is shame

Sadly though I’m still your dame

I still break my back in vain

knowing there will be only pain

you’re the only one who’ll gain

And I’ll be left in the cold wet rain

All it does is make me insane

Why can’t I get it through my brain

That you just don’t feel the same

And I will never have you tame

“Us”

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and so the lines are drawn

you’ll go left and I’ll go right

we both fought the battle

but it shouldn’t have been a fight

we didn’t realize we were at war

with both of ourselves and the world as well

you’ve taken me down with you

both of us are going to hell

I know it’s meant to be this way

just didn’t think it would feel like this

I cant heal the hole left in my heart

I wish that “we” never existed

I’ll see you again some years from now

maybe you’ll feel differently

don’t know how we always come back

to this place unintentionally